First...some context.
I moved to New York City a little over two years ago; June 20th, 2012. I had an internship at an off Broadway theater. I foolishly assumed that getting a job would be no problem whatsoever.
Ha.
For the first few months of living in the city I had no consistent income. I got a job with a catering company, but that work was few and far between. I was applying for jobs like crazy. But I had no terrifically marketable survival job skills. I worked in a library for three months in high school. I worked for a grocery store for a little over a year (Hy-Vee; where there's a helpful smile in every aisle), and I worked for a daycare for a summer. Oh and landscaping for a summer, but that is definitely another story for another time.
And I could only work evenings and weekends. I wouldn't even wanna hire me. And I know how competent I am!
So September had come and I was broke as a joke and my fiance (ugh) was over helping me out. I was over having him help me out too. I was on Craigslist and Potbelly Sandwich Works was doing an open call one afternoon. I knew pretty much nothing about them. But I figured why not go to the open call. I go. I interview. I dazzle them with my college degree and my white skin (it is terrible to say that...but let us call a spade a spade). They hired me on the spot...which I have since learned is not something they normally do. I was going to be working at their location on 5th avenue and 35th street.
I went for my orientation/store meeting and I knew that this was a mistake. But money was money. And I took the job. And I worked nights and weekends. And I don't think I ever cried, but there were days where I would be there and think, "I have to get out of here. I can't be here. This is beneath me. This is a job I could have gotten in high school." I washed dishes for hours and hours and hours. I smelled TERRIBLE.
My internship came and gone and I was still there. Other associates left and new ones came. And I was still there. I moved up in the ranks. They loved me. I had a brain in my head and new how to work my ass off. They certified me as a trainer.
This entire time I was incredibly embarrassed to tell people where I worked. I would always deflect or lie or be absurdly vague or just make it seem better than it actually was.
I thought it was me. I thought...they were giving me money and I needed to be grateful. They thought I was worthwhile and that is worthwhile in itself. I worked hard to become okay with it. I got along well with my co-workers. Incredibly well...they find my sass and my patience to be...interesting?
Through this job I made one of the best friends I will ever have in my life even. That is irreplaceable.
Last summer it even got to the point where upper management was talking to me about becoming a shift supervisor. And I considered it.
I tried to get out of this job often. I would go through periods where I would apply for all sorts of jobs. I got super close a couple of times. But always ended up not getting it.
When I was on dating applications (OkCupid, Tinder...blah blah BLAH) I would lie. I would pretend that job didn't exist. I was that embarrassed. I spent thousands of dollars on a college degree for THIS?
What is all of this leading to you ask?
Last week I was lead to a decision. Things have evolved over the last two years at Potbelly. I surely didn't think I was going to be coming up on my two year anniversary. (I must state that I believe in the company and their product. I think their sammies are delish.)
But I am better than that.
Gretchen Rubin says, "What I do every day matters more than what I do once in awhile."
So as of October 1st I will no longer be a member of the team at Potbelly at 35th and 5th.
I am going to work my butt off in the next month plus to get a new job. But regardless...I will not be there anymore.
I can't live a reactive life. I have to be proactive. I have the Public which is not going anywhere. My catering company loves me. Surely a person doesn't need THREE jobs.
I am nervous/scared. But I am excited and relieved. The moment I made the decision in my head I knew it was the right one.
If you're afraid to leap...if you're afraid of change...you are a lot like me. But I urge you...MAKE A CHANGE.
You won't regret it.
Below is my unofficial declaration. This blog entry is my official one. (Also, what are friends for if not taking a screen shot of auspicious moments in our every changing lives?)
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