Good grief

Tonight I am going to explore a question or theme that has plagued me for years...not so much plagued I guess as given me reason for pause.

I watched Rabbit Hole tonight. Possibly my favorite play. From the moment I read the first scene the summer before I started college I was hooked.

Watching it tonight lead me to think about why I love the plays I love and want to direct the pieces I want to direct. So many of them have to do with grief.

Dinner with Friends
Love! Valour! Compassion!
Angels in America
The Normal Heart
Next Fall
Lips Together, Teeth Apart
Other Desert Cities

Yeah...a lot of these are gay themed, but I already know why I am drawn to that type of piece.

My favorite movies and television shows are sad...overwhelmingly.

Why?

Growing up in the church I was confronted with grief more often than most. I remember in college when I realized that a lot of people haven't been to as many funerals in their life as I have.

Maybe its because of the sadness I have experienced in life...(here he goes again, lamenting the hand he has been dealt!) I have just always been sensitive to sadness.

Maybe it just goes back to all of those viewings of My Girl as a little kid.

But in my quest for happiness (which is what I said this was all about) I must consider what sadness has to do with it.

I think my sensitivity to sadness is just something in me...that has always been there. I certainly don't see it as a bad thing... I think I possess the gift of compassion and empathy for this very reason.

And in moments of grief and sadness the beauty comes from finding out that you aren't alone. It is universal. Whether it is death of a loved one, a life we lived, a friendship, the ideals we once held onto ferociously, I think we have all experienced profound loss.

And yet each moment is so uniquely our own experience. We all handle things differently, and maybe that's it? Maybe I am trying to figure out how best to deal and plays and musicals and movies and the people that create them are giving me different solutions. That sounds oddly specific and a little bizarre...but I can be oddly specific and a little bizarre.

But maybe it really is just all of those viewings of My Girl...and My Girl 2. That shit is sad.