Lena Dunham...I just don't get it.

I am mad at Lena Dunham.

And that is probably what she wants.

I feel like she does everything in her life on her show to enrage people. Who knows. To even provoke discussion.

I have been an advocate for her since she came onto the scene. I loved the first season of Girls. I thought the second season had great merit. I think all of the conversation that was stirred up from the Patrick Wilson episode was very interesting. And her fearlessness in the way she presents her body is very admirable.

I have been watching all of season three diligently and have been annoyed and frustrated with these characters and this writing and the entire point of it all.

This past week really took the cake for me, though.

The bulk of the episode to me doesn't matter. But part of it deals with her college boyfriend/ex-roommate/ex friend, Elijah. They both happen to be vacationing in the same town near the Hamptons. We have seen Elijah in the first and second season. This is the first time we see him this season. He is with three of his gay friends and they see Hannah (not knowing it is her) in a bathing suit and they are laughing at her, because she is chubby and is wearing a bikini in civilized society. They then spend the rest of the day/weekend with the girls. And the depiction of the homosexual community is all surface. I am not saying it is wrong and that there aren't gays out there like that, because I know there are. But that is the only depiction and it is so incredibly unattractive. These men are all surface, they are mean and ugly to each other and to the girls. They are belittling each other. Elijah claims he might be in love with the guy he is seeing. He wants to tell him this. And when the moment comes the guy is such an asshole and Elijah has low self-worth so he tells him to forget it. And to distract him he starts to go down on him.

I was enraged by all of this. And I am not that type of gay. I don't use phrases like hetero normative and such. I am a proud gay man and live my life as such. My revolutionary tendencies come from leading by example, I guess. But this all felt so backward. And some of these men were, in fact, gay actors playing these roles and I wonder what the point of it all was.

And I think about the new television show, Looking, that plays on the same night on the same network as Girls. It is about three gay men living in San Fransisco. The main character, played by Jonathan Groff, is in search of a boyfriend. And I find it all to not be entirely flattering, but to come from a place of truth and to show a wide cross section of the homosexual community. This past week's episode was inspiring to me, because it was truth. He has started seeing a guy and they wake up together and simply spend the day together. They go for breakfast they do different things together in the city and go for walks and talk about first relationships and coming out and real life stuff. And the episode is just the two of them...as humans, getting to know each other.

I just don't get it. I have come to trust that Lena knows what she is doing, but maybe I am just missing the point of all of this.

It just leaves me feeling very cold...but I know a new episode is on tomorrow night and I will probably illegally watch it on Monday morning.