The Bechdel Funeral Home

I saw Fun Home seventeen times. Ushering for the Public has its perks

This is a post I could have written awhile ago, before I even had this blog, but I feel like it is coming full circle now due to the release of the cast recording.

I saw it first as an audience member towards the beginning of October. I had been really excited for it. I am an avid fan of Judy Kuhn and Michael Cerveris is always a good time. That was really my knowledge of the piece. I really thoroughly enjoyed it. I wanted to love it more than I did. Anytime I see a show I always measure it against other theatrical experiences. Usually seeing Other Desert Cities front row center at the Booth or seeing Giant in the Newman at the Public. This time I was measuring it against Giant...because it was in the exact same theater. Giant was such a visceral experience. I had never seen anything like it and I was on the edge of my seat and many tears were had. I saw it twice. And that was when I was broker than a joker. This time paled in comparison. Not to say that one is better than the other or anything, because they are two completely different shows.

I then ushered it the following weekend. And for many times over the next three months. I went through a period of hating it, because I saw it so much. Then I was away from it for weeks. There was a cast change. Then I was away from it again for two more weeks, because of Christmas and such and then I ushered it for the closing week.

For those of you who have no idea about the show I will give you a brief rundown. It is based on a graphic memoir by Alison Bechdel. Music is by Jeanine Tesori and book by Lisa Kron. It is the story of Alison as she is writing her memoir and it all relates to her relationship with her father. She came out as a lesbian her freshman year of college and a few months after that her dad allegedly committed suicide by stepping in front of a truck, because he was a closeted homosexual. The role of Alison is played by three different actresses young (age tenish?), Medium Alison (college age - the Playbill referred to her as Medium Alison which I find quite bizarre), and present day Alison (age forty-three). Present day Alison is telling all of the story...she is seldom offstage. You see that her father was a very particular human being who was quite tortured and affected her so deeply. Judy Kuhn played her long suffering mother. I think that really does it.

I was so blessed to get to see it so many times, because it helped me to really dissect the show. And boy, did we. As ushers we talked about it constantly. Different realizations we had...perspective, what we thought of the new Medium Alison. Everything. And most people don't get that experience.

(There is another blog post in here about seeing the same show over and over again, but this isn't it. )

One of my first reactions and things I take away from it are the ability of these women to write songs that so completely capture an experience I have had in my life.

The first song is Changing my Major. It happens right after she has sex with her first girlfriend (her freshman year of college). The song is about how she is going to change her major to Joan (the name of her girlfriend) and the metaphor goes many different places. It just so captures a human experience...not a homosexual one necessarily...Joan is sleeping in the bed with her and she sings this song. It is just so magical and sweet. And one anyone could relate to. In the final week of performances my high school boyfriend came and saw the show randomly. I was sitting there watching the show and when it came to Changing My Major I was struck with the thought that my version was about HIM. It was surreal.

The second song is Ring of Keys. It is sung by ten year old Alison. She is at a diner with her father and as she goes to get the waitress she notices this old school butch lesbian walk in delivering packages. She sings, Ring of Keys, the best song in the show, possibly the best song Jeanine Tesori has written. It is about the experience of knowing that there is something in this person that is a kindred spirit. As a child you are too young to process this feeling. A repeated phrase in the song is "I know you." I can't specifically recall when I had this experience as a child, but I know I had it. More than once certainly. It's a powerful thing.

And finally, Telephone Wire. This song is sung by present day Alison, but as she is reliving the final significant conversation she has with her father on a break home from college. They take a late night car ride. And she sings about getting the courage to speak to her dad honestly. To "say something," to him. To have a real relationship. It is the song that gets me the most in the show. I have not had this specific experience, but I know that moment of being in the car with your parent(s) and nothing the things around you. Being so completely aware of your surroundings, because you so badly want to say something, but are so completely terrified. And certainly after having a tumultuous week at home with my father to then coming back and watching the show. It resonated in a completely different way.

Randomly, going back to Giant. I LOVED Giant. It was so grand, and lush, and MESSY. And beautiful. Fun Home is not that. I find it intimate and heart wrenching...and most significantly, CLEAN. Giant did not seem produce-able to me. Fun Home is so completely produce-able. I get so jaded by the state of the American musical sometimes. Bridges of Madison County being an example...Hands on a Hardbody being another one...Cinderella too (I include that, because of the new WRETCHED book). I so badly wanted them all to sweep me away and be brilliant. But they seemed rushed and messy and just not good. Fun Home is not that at all. So completely refreshing to see a well made play. What a rarity in this world it seems. I have seen so many shows since moving to New York. I truly couldn't count. And to see something that well made gives me hope for the theatre...for my life.

After the show closed a friend from work (blog shout out to Rachel!) was kind enough to let me borrow her copy of the book, Fun Home. And as much as I grew to love the show I loved the book instantly. It is one of those books . The kind I have been chasing...the ones that stay with you. That you can't get out of your mind for days, weeks, months, years after you read it.

Also, this is a facet of this post, but not entirely related. My final semester in college I did a Queer Theatre Independent Learning Experience with a fellow classmate and my directing professor. We read a book called Out on Stage about the history of gay and lesbian theatre, we read relevant plays, and the semester culminated in a night of scenes from gay and lesbian themed plays. One conversation that we had was about what does the future of queer theatre look like. Another conversation was about the lack of lesbian themed plays throughout the history of American theatre. I think Fun Home is the answer to both of those questions. And it is kind of awe inspiring to work for the theatre that produced the answer to such big questions.

And thanks to dear friends I was able to listen to the new cast recording as I wrote this blog. I posted on Facebook and within minutes three friend sent it to me. I AM LOVED!